My Window

From November 29th, 2007

Windows can be seen as our outlooks to the world. There are times when one’s window shrinks to the size of a peephole, moments of fear or hatred. But in moments of illumination, the window is the highest one in a skyscraper with walls of glass, a panoramic view on life. These rare moments are when one feels big, and full of life and love. (One could say then, in these terms, enlightenment would be the state when windows and walls alike all break open and one is lifted to the clouds.)

The size sometimes changes according to one’s mood and circumstances but for most people, the general structure is consistent. And our up bringing, and perhaps genes, play important roles in determining this. What is our family like? Were we brought up in fear of certain people and things? Were we let out to play enough or trapped inside to cram up for an exam? Were we allowed to question anything and everything and speak our minds, or threatened into blind obedience? How much of TV did we watch and from what stage in life? What kind of exposure and education did we get? All determine our approach to the world.

My own window would be a large square one, framed in strong, brown wood uninterruptedly crossing into a plus to divide it into four equal quarters. It’s a pretty simple outlook, bright, open and optimistic. And it gives more focus to the outside world than its own structure. But the square does symbolize the edge of rigidity that I come with. I tend to be mentally organized and systematically analytical. I don’t compromise on certain principles and I’m pretty hard to convince when it comes to many attributes of my fundamental attitude. The wood is impeccably smooth but not varnished or treated artificially to give it ‘a finish’. I don’t like dishonesty in any form. Perhaps I am crude and unconforming to the rules of the majority.

I don’t have glass in the frame or curtains to block things out with, only the plus-frame. It’s only a delight to have such a big open window if the world one sees through it is for the most part, intriguing and wonderful. I have been quite sheltered so my window offers little defense from the illogical cruelty and insensitivity of the world. I’ve been thinking of getting some drapes to give me the option of shutting out the world but perhaps it’s safer to go with the trends these days and attach heavily tinted glass, build thick metal grills and put up occluding blinds.

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